It's OK if things feel a bit different now. It's OK if you feel like being a bit quieter than usual. It's OK if you have the space and the strength to carry it all inside you. It's OK if you don't feel the need to put it "out there" quite so much.
It's OK if you wonder whether this is OK. It's OK to worry that pulling back from your life online may have consequences that you regret down the track. It's OK if you still have a fear of missing out on connection or presence or opportunity or whatever. It's OK if that fear never goes away.
It's OK if you can't make much sense of it but still want to sink deeper. It's OK if you feel proud over the smallest achievements. It's OK if those achievements are ones that you never thought you'd enjoy, let alone take pride in. It's OK to keep this to yourself.
It's OK to take three weeks to respond to emails. It's OK to be deeply affected by the weather. It's OK if this takes the form of total rapture and overwhelming optimism and it's OK if it manifests in anxiety and retreat. It's OK to let things pile up. It's OK to let all those things To Do be held by a list which will sit there patiently, waiting.
It's OK to say nice things. It's OK to say nothing at all. It's OK to take the plunge and buy a blender without researching it overly much or hunting around for a better deal. It's OK to ease into a new way of shopping/cooking/eating slowly, taking what appeals from different approaches and finding your own way, even though certain people would disapprove of certain things.
It's OK to ask for help. It's OK to battle things out on your own, like you've always done. It's OK to receive someone's frustration as an accusation, even when you know that's not the spirit with which it was intended. It's OK to sign up then not participate.
It's OK to walk home in the pouring rain without an umbrella then run a huge hot bath at an unusual time of day. It's OK to throw your hat into the ring, even though you rarely win anything.
It's OK to wonder if you really want to do something. It's OK not to know. It's OK to wait and see.
It's OK to feel like life is asking a lot of you. But it's also OK to see just how great are the gifts it is giving you in return. It's OK to see just how not possible it is to do it all and have it all.
Wherever you are (or aren't) please know: it is OK.
PS I know: it's Worthiness Wednesday on a Thursday. As far as I'm concerned, that's OK.
Oh my goodness Kat. It's like you wrote this for me! I'm going to affirm "it's ok" for the next few days... I think that's just what I need right now. Thank you xx
ReplyDeleteYou are so on with this Kat. Those two letters really can go a long way with the perspective of things can't they? And whether you take longer to write a post or email someone back, it's always filled with presence when you do.
ReplyDeleteKat - you made my afternoon. I have has a few rough weeks; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I so needed to be reminded that it's ok - that right now, right here it's ok. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove you Kat. Yes it certainly is ok. It's all ok. Thank you. x
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